Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
