great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
