i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
