ya dads aren't the best wingmen
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
