It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
