It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
