No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
