Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
