I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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