I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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