Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
