she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
