dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
