He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
