we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
So vagazzling was a success
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
