Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
