yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Four minutes until I can fart!
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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