I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
