Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
