And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
The air was thick with penises
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
