that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
