I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize