when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
And then the night went full on bisexual.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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