you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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