Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
