my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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