just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
