it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
