Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you will always have a special place in my vag
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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