What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize