We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
