I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
