i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
