12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
