Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
