We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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