I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
