Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
