he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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