I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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