i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
