we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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