he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
