maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
