My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
