do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize