plz talk dirty to me
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize