Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
