1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
