never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize