another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
