They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
