His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
