Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
