From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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