Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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