I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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