Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
