Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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