I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
