Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
