you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
The air was thick with penises
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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