I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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