so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
